Friday, February 15, 2013

365 Days Ago....


What a difference a year can make. A few days ago I reached the one year mark of when I entered into residential treatment. It was an emotional day 
for all involved to see how far I had come in such a short period of time. 
When I made the decision to check myself into treatment
I made the decision to say NO MORE! 
I would not stand for the ending of my story to be death at 21 years of age. 
 In a few days I will celebrate my 22nd birthday, a day that I thought I would never live to see. My eating disorder had me convinced that I would die of this disease because I deserved no better, but I am proud to say that I learned that I could rewrite the end of my story. It has been an long 365 days for me, but each day I have grown a little bit, and learned a little but more about myself. 

One thing that I have learned throughout this year long journey 
is that I have to trust in those that have stood by my side through it all, 
that is including God. I tried running from God my whole life,
 but he continued to pursue me through it all. Today I have given up the 
fight against Him, and accepted Him on my team. I can not begin to express all the ways my life has changed for the better, and I know that the main reason is because I have God on my side. I can not sit here and say that everyday is perfect or that I make the right decisions every time but I try, and that is more than I can say was happening a year ago. 

The biggest change I have made this year is learning to let go of my past, 
and start to love myself for the good, the bad, and the ugly.
 I have allowed my past to rule the present and destroy 
the opportunities that God has provided thus far for me; 
but that will no longer occur. I have begun to share my story with others in hopes that I can help one person understand that they are not alone, and that someone understands. Although it has not been an easy journey to get to this point I would not change a single moment of it. 

One thing my counselor from residential treatment gave me on my graduation day was this amazing quote that I remind myself on a daily basis of. Take it with you and apply it to your life. I challenge you to face your fears, and see how much your life will have change, 365 days from now. 

"He Who Has Overcome His Fears, Shall Truly Be Free." Aristotle